Dear Diary,
I don’t know where to start, 2021 was a year that challenged me and confronted me with many of my fears; one of them was to return to my usual routine and resume the activities that I was forced to suspend due to the pandemic.
And it is that not only did I pause my day to day when the pandemic began, I was also forced to postpone one of the biggest dreams I have: to be a mother.
For many years I was looking for a baby and when I finally decided to seek help and start treatment, the universe told me: you must wait. I did not understand why life insisted on putting “obstacles” in my desire to have a child; I cried, screamed, was angry and blamed myself, but as the days went by and a little professional accompaniment, I understood that everything comes in its time and that perhaps those days of anguish would leave me with a great learning.
2020 was a year of uncertainty, we didn’t know what would happen, but 2021 ushered in new beginnings. I was afraid to go out again, to go to work and to socialize, but my heart told me, IT’S TIME TO GET BACK TO IT!
The first step was to return to face-to-face work, then to one or another family gathering, and so little by little I adopted my “normal” life, but something was missing, something that I knew I had to do but that I felt infinitely afraid of because of all the uncertainty that still accompanied my mind: to return to INSER to fight for my dream
I’m already 39 years old, during the pandemic I turned 39, and I know what that means for fertility. If a year and a half ago I was afraid to consult, what I felt now was irrational, I knew that things could have gotten worse, but I had to consult him.
In March 2021 I decided to return, with my heart in my hand I returned because my desire has always been to be a mother, but deep down I knew that something not very good could happen.
Above all the prognosis I thought I had, things were fine, as well as normal life, now I could start my process again, but what should I do? Was it wise to look for a baby in the middle of a pandemic that still had no end?
The answer was always my heart and it was YES! And without a doubt I said to myself, the time is now, I can’t let more years pass, I can’t continue to postpone my search.
Today, after 6 months of treatment and an unsuccessful transfer, I am more motivated than ever. I know that, if 2021 gave me the possibility to start again, 2022 will be the year of opportunities.
I do not deny that I still feel afraid, THAT THE NEW REALITY makes me feel strange, but I know that it is time to continue and I know that soon life WILL HAVE MORE COLOR OF NORMALITY.
Therefore, with my eyes closed and a candle lit, this December 24 and 31 I will ask heaven to give me the opportunity to be a mother and return to a world with many learnings where we can hug each other and be happy.
THANK YOU 2021! FOR GIVING US THE POSSIBILITY OF RESTORING DREAMS, HOPE AND FAITH
