Letter from an InSer mother who managed to fulfill her dream of starting a family

An InSer mom tells us about her struggle to have the biggest dream of her life in her arms today.
“It only takes the will to follow dreams.”

Dear Future Families,

I know that there are many couples today who feel defeated for not being able to have a baby. I know that there are many people today who feel sad, desperate and frustrated for not finding the path that leads them to become parents. But I also know that faith moves mountains and that is why today I want to share my story so that many more couples will persist despite the difficulties.
Like all couples, since I married my husband we always dreamed of having a big family. The illusion of being parents was clear to us since our courtship, and that’s why, right after our wedding, we started with the task of ordering a baby.

We were a young couple with many projects ahead of us. We were as in love as we had been from day one, and because of that love we both felt, we decided that we were not going to wait: the faster we had our baby, the happier we would be. Our greatest desire was to be a father and a mother, and our happiness depended in large part on fulfilling that dream.

Every month we were happy with the idea that this would be the month of our positive. But the days, weeks and months passed and we did not see our dream come true. At first we thought it was due to the typical stress of a newlywed couple, so we tried exercise and a healthier diet. Despite our willingness to have a calmer, healthier life, the baby didn’t come.

When we were married for a year, we decided to go to the gynecologist. After some lab tests and ultrasounds, he recommended that we go to a fertility expert. We couldn’t believe it. We thought that we didn’t have a major problem, that everything would be solved with an easy treatment, that we couldn’t have such a great difficulty. At first I cried and was very distressed, but after a while we made the decision to go to that specialist who had been recommended to us. Very afraid to hear what we didn’t want to hear, we made an appointment at the Inser clinic. We talked to the doctor, showed him the tests we had done months ago, and after other ultrasounds, he confirmed our diagnosis: my tubes were obstructed and that is why I did not ovulate and I could not get pregnant. The world came crashing down on us.

At first, we tried ovulation induction treatment, but we only achieved a biochemical pregnancy. There, the doctor recommends insemination as an alternative to achieve pregnancy. After four attempts, we only had one pregnancy that we lost in the eighth week. That’s when the doctor tells us about In Vitro Fertilization as the last alternative to have our baby. I didn’t want to continue: they were months of great anguish, of much pain. Every time they confirmed another negative, when we almost had a pregnancy and lost it, I was filled with distrust, sadness. I was going to throw in the towel, but the doctor filled me with hope, and my husband also told me that he was not going to leave me alone on this path. I said to myself: it’s my last attempt, I’ve already made it this far and I’m not going to give up. My dream is on the other side of the fear I have today.

And that’s when, in the second cycle of IVF, my long-awaited pregnancy arrived. I couldn’t believe it. We were happy but at the same time very afraid that something bad would happen again. But weeks later they confirmed that there would be not one but two joys that would come into our lives: we would have twins, healthy and perfect girls who today fill our home with love and tenderness, the most desired daughters that anyone could imagine.

I know what it feels like to hear a doctor tell you you can’t have children. I know what it feels like when an outcome isn’t what you expect, when you have all your faith in a collapsing castle. I know it’s waiting in vain, hearing a No over and over again. But I also know what hope, faith, trust in a single dream is. And now I live it, enjoy it and embrace it every day of my life. Now I know that it was all worth it, that we grew as a couple, as people, with the sole purpose of being the best parents for the daughters who were waiting for us, just as we were waiting for them.

It’s about never giving up. It’s about fighting for the one, the best, and the biggest dream of our lives.