Starting a new year is becoming more and more difficult since my great desire on December 31 at 12:00 a.m. is to ask the universe and God to give me the opportunity to achieve my dream of being a mother.
Three years ago my priority was to run with the suitcase around the block to attract many trips in the coming year, however, since my husband and I decided to start the search for a baby, priorities changed.
The first year was a period of excitement and motivation, we felt recharged and believed that our baby would arrive soon to complete the family. That end of the year was great, the desire to be parents united us and we were happy to have made the decision to start the journey together. At 12:00 a.m. we held hands, kissed each other full of love and smiled full of excitement.
The following year the feelings were more confused, although still full of enthusiasm and desire to receive a positive, our looks no longer had the same joy. Now we were full of uncertainty, we didn’t understand why our baby didn’t arrive, we began to question if everything was okay and if we would make it. In spite of everything, at 12:00 a.m. we hold hands and with more strength we ask for the same wish: We want to be parents!
During the last year things changed. When we saw that we were not getting pregnant, we consulted with the doctor and he recommended that we look for a fertility specialist, because he saw that something was not right. Fear took hold of us, but the illusion always gave us the little push we needed to continue.
When we first arrived at the consultation with the specialist we trembled with fright, we hoped that he would tell us that everything was fine, but deep down we were aware that something was wrong and that we needed help. The diagnosis was not the best, but we had options to achieve our dream of being parents.
At the beginning of 2019 we started our first IVF cycle, the results were not good and the spirits went down until we made the decision to rest for a while. We never let go of our dream of having a baby, but we prioritized our relationship, reconnecting and making time for ourselves, leaving behind injections and moments of uncertainty.
In December of last year we decided that we would continue with our search and planned that in 2020 we would start with a new cycle. On December 31 we took our hands again, hugged each other and with more strength we asked for the same wish, but with one more desire: That the treatment works and that our dream of being parents comes true!
Today I only ask that the new year be full of surprises and joys. I hope that each stage brings with it learning and that all the families who are in the same condition as us can make the wish that I know so many of us ask for come true at 12 midnight on December 31.
