Today I have the great opportunity to share my personal experience in what has been the most important cause of my life, being a mom.
At 32 years old, I face my inability to conceive children naturally. For a woman at this age and with a great desire to be a mother, this can be something like the diagnosis of a terminal illness. Although it sounds exaggerated, it was initially very painful for me because motherhood was very linked to the idea of personal fulfillment and family in which I had built my life plan.
After a few months and in agreement with my husband, we decided that it was time to seek information about the best institutes and doctors in Colombia because I knew that in these cases, time is of the essence.
The first thing I did was go to my close friends to ask them if they knew of any cases of friends or family members who could help me, and I effectively found valuable information and, above all, support in verifying that, like me, many women have gone through this situation and that, far from being a kind of condemnation, it ended up becoming an exciting and unforgettable experience that has marked my life and that of my entire family.
Before making my first consultation on assisted fertilization procedures, I began to cherish the possibility of being a mom. I dreamed of being pregnant, and many times on my way home alone in my car, I repeated to myself a thousand times in a loud voice that I would be able to be a mom. It was perhaps in those moments that I was filled with faith and strength to assume with all the determination that I would do everything in my power to achieve it.
And this is where a journey of three and a half years begins, full of exams, consultations, surgeries, novenas to every miraculous saint I was recommended, alternative medicine; I even put a photo from a magazine in which a pregnant woman appeared so that every day while I prepared to go to work, that beautiful woman would remind me that it was possible.
During those three years, we experienced very hard moments because my possibilities seemed more and more distant. However, we continued trying medications and natural aids that grandmothers recommend, with the hope that things would soon begin to change, but time passed and each month was like a countdown that advanced without pause but at the same time was a reminder of the promise I had in my heart and that made me persevere.
In my family, fortunately, I found all the support, and although we did not expressly touch on the subject of adoption, it was an alternative that was there waiting for what might happen.
In my personal case, I felt a great relief in sharing everything that was happening to me with someone. Fortunately, I had the love and support of my family, my mother, my sister, and my closest friends.
Finally, in their capacity as women, they could understand my feelings a little better, unconditionally to the point of offering me their womb so that I could achieve my purpose. Those are big words, an offering of this nature manages to move the deepest fibers of love.
My husband, always there silent and patient waiting for the moment when I would collapse, there really were many of those moments in which I saw myself about to throw in the towel, but his presence and his patience were his great contribution.
Sometimes when the exams gave very discouraging results, I would tell him the opposite, “Everything is going very well, it’s just a matter of patience.” I still don’t know if he believed it… However, and despite his great desire to be a father, thanks to him this was not the central theme of our life as a couple, our conversations revolved around many other topics and so life went on normally, although in my head only the idea of being a mom was there…
Finally, and by the grace of God and medical science, my condition changed just at the moment when my energies and my optimism were dwindling, but suddenly the opportunity arose for a third cycle of In Vitro Fertilization, risking everything both physically and emotionally. Fortunately for me, both the doctors and my family again focused on this new opportunity, surrounding me with joy and optimism.
Well, to everyone’s joy, we achieved my pregnancy, which among other things went by with many scares, but it is not worth going into those details because today I can tell you with emotion and infinite gratitude that I am the mother of a beautiful 1-year-old boy.
The emotions and feelings of women around motherhood are different and this testimony only intends to tell an experience that can help alleviate in some way the anxiety that can occur in these situations, but the message is only one: love and faith can do everything, for this I would dare to give some respectful suggestions to those who are starting this path.
- Clearly understand the diagnosis and build a very frank communication with the doctor, this necessarily includes a relationship of great trust and empathy.
- Assume an assisted fertilization treatment as a project that is executed in stages and that must be carried out with all the commitment and discipline, as in the case of an athlete who trains for his most important competition.
- Seek support in the emotional aspect such as family, friends, other people or couples with similar cases, there will always be someone nearby who wants to share their experience.
- Much understanding from the family and support in the definitive moments with a positive attitude regarding the result, the negatives are unnecessary in these cases.
- Finally, and most importantly, an unwavering FAITH.
