Today I decided to write. It’s always easier to talk about love and beautiful things. It’s very difficult to talk about fears. I think I’m good at writing, at describing what I feel, but I never thought a topic would hurt and be so difficult to externalize. I always read beautiful things about very desired babies and people going through the same thing. I get excited and every time I see myself reflected in the love that these texts narrate, in situations that we have lived through. When you start this IVF, they warn you about a lot, but nothing compares to what you experience… Does it hurt physically?… The truth is not much, just some routine exam to check if the tubes are blocked, but from there nothing that can’t be endured, ahhh! Without counting the blood draws and injections that I think after 4 IVFs you stop counting… Let’s say about 400… Without exaggerating!
No one warns you about the emotions, the scares, the hopes, the dreams, the questions, “Am I not good at being a parent?”… Frustration and fears, fears of each result, of how many eggs you achieved in that cycle, of how many were fertilized, of having to make decisions, fear of each call from the Dr., fear of waiting after the procedures and finding another negative, not to mention the financial part, that would be another text. And continuing with your empty arms, only because of my very high Faith in God and that I believe in Him, we have continued. It is worth clarifying that Kamel has been an excellent companion, at the foot of the canyon and the circumstance constantly, without skimping on anything, willing to do everything to achieve this positive and his love has surpassed any expectation. It also hurts when people in some cases tell you: “until when?” Or they think it and don’t tell you. But yes, they with their arms full; here is the answer: until God gives us strength and we have our arms full! And so after 4 IVFs (before the IVFs you do other procedures) of lots of eggs and 8 embryos, we came out positive again, with the fear of a devastating loss of twins, 4 months ago they taught me that love for them was already shared and they were willing to share their parents from a young age without exclusivity and that sometimes miracles can come in pairs… And that’s how we dreamed and gave thanks again as we never stopped doing and this positive finally arrived because we are closer to touching our most valuable desire which is to have our own family and that’s how the days go by and everything is perfect and I don’t stop praying and asking God to only give me breaths of life for this womb, giving thanks every morning that we wake up and entrusting ourselves, every night that we rest, that I deliver these babies into my arms in October. Thanks to my Doctors who always as spoiled as I have been, I had the blessing that they knew each other and it was not by chance, it was because God decided it that way for me. Thank you Dr. @miamifertilitydoc for helping me from here and putting your best effort into making this happen. Thank you to my Dr. @juanluisgiraldo1 for believing in us, for making me believe in myself more than I myself believed, for putting your heart into this and for not letting me fall, without you nothing of this would be possible. Thanks to the nurses, the embryologists, the first babysitters of our embryos. The family and friends taking care of us.
We achieved it again after many medical appointments, tons of prayers, a lot of faith, many days in Medellín, injections, eggs, embryos, love, science and perseverance; this miracle of life occurred that we love madly already, we count the days to fill them with kisses.
Ahhh… I also want to tell you that all the couples who go through this “are an example” and that they do not give up, that they continue and fight for their baby and that God is good to everyone. (Written in Feb 2019) Happy Easter 2019! Happy Easter 2019 to all!
