Today marks the end of a year in which I lived moments of great happiness, but also of immense anguish and fear. Perhaps 2020 was not the year that I thought was ideal to make my dream of becoming pregnant come true, but without a doubt I learned that God’s timing is perfect and that, in the midst of so many complex situations in the world, I was able to make the wish that I had longed for with all my heart for more than three years come true: to be a mother.
While writing this letter I remembered the Decembers of the years 2018 and 2019; I had never lacked anything material, the tree was always full of gifts, and on New Year’s Eve I was fortunate to share it with my family. Yet why was I feeling so alone, so sad and so disoriented?
I know it’s not easy to accept advice when your heart is broken into little pieces with every negative. But today, after three years of trying and losing, I want to tell all those moms from the bottom of my heart who have not yet achieved their miracle of love, to enjoy every day and to value life.
We spend the entire process of treatment and the hope for a pregnancy, immersed in a kind of deep sleep that blurs the present moment. We push away those who only want to see us well because we are clinging to a desire that only our heart understands, and we feel alone because that being that we imagine day by day is not yet here.
But why not change the way that we view this and enjoy every moment? I know it’s not easy, but now, after all I lived through to reach this moment that I know so many of you are longing for, I want to share this message with you from the heart that I’m sure will help you receive 2021 in the best way and in gratitude for every opportunity that life gives us to continue to follow the path in search of a positive outcome.
⦁ Don’t give up in the search for your dream, but also do not forget that your reality is the driving force to continue.
⦁ Hold on to that desire, but also to those who accompany you on each step of the way and can give you the strength that we sometimes need.
⦁ Enjoy the here and now. You don’t know what the future has in store for you, but there is no greater gift than being alive and enjoying every moment.
⦁ Fill your heart with love and turn away bad thoughts. A positive attitude will help you understand that not everything is in your hands, and that sometimes you just have to accept and move on.
Don’t get discouraged! Today, 4 months pregnant and full of different fears ( such as having a healthy baby, controlling hormones, controlling my anxiety), I tell you that there is no better way to start the year than being grateful for every process that life has brought us through.
It is both a blessing and a privilege to receive 2021 in good health and with love, and if there is one thing I am certain of, it is that all of us who go through paths of infertility experience a renewed feeling of faith, love as well as hope.
HAPPY YEAR! Tonight I will close my eyes and ask the universe that next year it is you who will look at the sky, touch your belly and give thanks for every moment you have lived.
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